Ugh

Do I need to say more? Maybe just a short explanation will do. I got up at 7 this morning so Ruth and I could get to Worcester for my scan. Of course, I didn't get to eat or drink anything before I had to gulp down two giant bottles of orange flavored Barium. Yick. I am mean it. In solidarity, Ruth didn't have any breakfast either. I offered to share my barium breakfast, but she declined.

The scan only took a few minutes. They gave me that contrast dye that makes one feel "warm." What they should just tell you is that you are going to really really feel like you a peeing yourself and you are not going to believe that you didn't pee yourself until you feel that your pants are dry. That done, Ruth and I had about two hours before I could return my pump. I was grumpy and tired and sort of sick, so we sat in the sun, ate some breakfast and Ruth told me a lot of good stories.

We went to get my pump off a little early, and even though the medicine hadn't completely emptied, I asked them to take it off, I was so tired. So they did, and then fled to home. The barium always gives me diarrhea, so not much lingering when I said goodbye to Ruth the Rock. I went inside, pooped my brains out and fell asleep for three hours.

Right now I feel like serious crap. I have learned my lesson not to get a scan the same day as getting chemo. Two weeks until the results. I don't even really care about them right now. All I want is a heavenly night's sleep and my brain back. The same things I want every two weeks. I will work on getting a good night's sleep, as I do every night. And we all know I get my brain back just before I have chemo again. In the mean time, this Saturday is my 46th birthday. That feels like an accomplishment. I feel like I have done so much this year that I deserve to say that I am 47 - maybe I will.