Well, It's Not Good Part II

So it's been 12 hours since the news. And news was all it was. I am exactly the same person I was yesterday. The only thing that is different, is now I know. I know the lump in my belly that hurts is not scar tissue, but a tumor. I know the nodules in my lungs are cancer. I know I better get going on my life, because who knows how much of it there will be? St Lucia here we come.

I had to have a duplex leg ultrasound. I have an embolus in my lung and they wanted to make sure there weren't any in my legs. My legs are fine. But it was all rush rush and needed to be done today. Better to know today - something good anyway, than to worry and gnash my teeth.

So Dr B said that if this combination of drugs doesn't work - and we will check in eight weeks - I will have to go to a clinical trial in Boston. I definitely thought he had more options up his sleeve. I won't worry about that now, the best thing I can do is remember the things he told me are in my favor- my age, my attitude, I don't have underlying issues to worry about. He didn't mention that I have all of you on my side, and God, so I have a lot of things going for me.

I took some notes today. This is what they say. Lungs. Liver. New tumors. Clinical Trial. That's it. I guess that was all I heard. I also guess that's all we need to know for now.

I will end on cancer side effect/Bennett story. The Avastin makes me have a lot of blood in the nose and when I blow my nose the tissue is a gory mess. The other day Bennett wanted to see what was in my tissue. I told her my boogers were private. And she said, oh, just like nipples. Yep, just like nipples.