Pat arranged for B to be with Aunties Ruth and Theo all day today - and she must have had fun, because she fell asleep in about a nanosecond. I bet the same thing happened to Aunties. Pat spent the day at Snow Farm teaching, so I was pretty much alone all day. It may sound strange, but it was perfect. I got to talk on the phone uninterrupted, I read my book, I did the bills, poked around the house. I did some wondering about cancer and time and looked at old photo albums. I came away from that experience a little sad but mostly missing my good hair. I had such good hair. Pat reminds me that I still do, and I am grateful that I have any, but I had Really Good Hair. Boo.
I also came to the conclusion that whatever is giving me this mysterious pain in my back needs to be discovered. I hope and don't hope that something is shown on the scan. I hope it's nothing and if it's something, I hope it's not a big deal. But the pain is there often enough for me to feel like it may not be going away anytime soon - and maybe intervention is needed.
And, of course, that means I have been thinking about surgery and that just make me want to jump out of my skin. Nancy would tell to stop right now. But how do I stop when I get this worried? Sometimes it feels impossible.
So how did we get here? I started the post all good and sunny, and ended with a poopy ending. Well, that is a pretty accurate reflection on my life right now. Up and down, up and down, and up again. Thank God for the ups. They are really most of the time.
Maybe I need to go take a minute to look at Bennett while she is sleeping so I can remember how blessed I am
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