Who Can Keep Up?

I just reread yesterday's post and couldn't be further from those feelings. I had an excellent day and feel pretty great. I am still working out some physical symptoms (ahem...), but mentally I feel like the fog has lifted and I am hopeful again.

Who can keep up with these ups and downs? It's draining, to say the least. At least I get the ups and I am super grateful for that.

I started the day with getting up with Pat and Bennett. Aunt Ruth was coming over for pancakes at 9:30, so I had to. Oh yeah, and Pat left at 8:30 to attend a felting class. So I was by myself with Bennett and I was a little shaky. I feel a sort of insecurity when Pat is not here that is hard to describe. It's like the thing that holds me to the earth is missing and I get scared. This is not something I am used to. I have done many daring things on my own in my life, but somehow, at this time, the daring-ness is just gone. Maybe it's just for now, let's hope.

Okay, so I made banana pancakes and had a very nice conversation about fear with Aunt Ruth. She set me straight and then went off to play with B. The joy of their relationship rang through the house. They played, I played Scrabble and did this and that. Really not much. Luckily Sandy called with a great offer to go to the club for the afternoon. We took Ruth home and met Sandy, Brad and Avy at the club. Brad whisked the girls off to the pool while Sandy and I had a chance to catch up. I miss our time together when I am recovering. We hung out and enjoyed the thundery day. The pool was closed and there were few people there, so the kids pretty much had the run of the place. It was great. Then it started to rain. And I mean rain.

We went home. And as soon as we got home the thunderstorm started in earnest. Bennett and I were walking though the house holding hands looking for something when a lightening bolt hit so close I thought the house caught on fire. We both jumped and Bennett said "momo, that scared both of us." True.

The rest of the night has been lovely. Pat had a good time in her class. I made it through the day intact (with a ton of help) and am ready for tomorrow. Cross you fingers for me that it lasts. I really could use a few days feeling the lightness.