Post 320

Here's my fabulous daughter, she fell asleep while watching Dumbo. That's probably good, because it's such a weirdly racist movie. I've tried to get rid of it (I really should just throw it out), but she always finds the bag of stuff to go to the thrift shop. And then she takes out the too small dress (or whatever) and claims she loves it to the end of the earth. 

I have to say I do remember the day I found my blankie in the garbage. I dug it out and cried my eyeballs out. It seems like such a betrayal, to find my beloved blankie tossed out. So maybe she feels like that when I get rid of stuff. Dumbo on the other hand is just bad for her (I think).

Three days ago I was on the phone with Mary bragging about how we were having California weather. Hot, but not too hot. Dry and lovely. Poor Mary has been suffering with rain for four weeks. Well, karma bit me right in the butt. It's been literally raining non-stop for two and half days. The farm was a muddy disaster - I brought all of B's rain gear, did I even bring myself an umbrelly? No. So while B was jumping from puddle to puddle, my head got very wet. 

Tomorrow is chemo. Pat gave me a really good pep talk - telling me to remember that we used to think of chemo as just a blip in the week and somehow we got away from that. I am trying to get back into that mind set. It's true, we even used to get excited about having that time together and we always picked out a great movie to watch. The last two times, though, have been harder. I've been falling asleep and my eyes have been really bothered and hurty. What I am thinking, and am loathe to write is, I hope I don't go blind before I die. It's those cheery thoughts that really make my day hard sometimes.

On that note, I have to wash B's hair. She woke up and her head is stinky. But not for long.