I Want my Days Back

So my last post sounded excellent. I sound really on and ready to take on the world. Well yesterday, day three, is where everything fell apart. I felt like someone socked me in the head and ran away. My innards were very disagreeable and I was generally miserable. I went to sleep at around 7 and woke up this morning with Bennett crawling into bed with me with toys. It was such a sweet was to wake up, but I still felt hungover. Then I just decided to cut it out. Pat is teaching part of this week and I am going to have to be alone with B a bit, so I have to stop wallowing.

I will give myself a break and not call the effects of chemo wallowing, but the effects have been dragging on longer and longer, and I am going to try not to allow that anymore.

So, today Pat went to work in the afternoon and I took care of B. I was worried, I didn't know how I would hold up. Rith after Pat left, she took my hand and said "momo I have a very cozy spot for us and two boxes of fun things to play with." We went on the futon and played games and painted and raced cars and then I made her dinner. We read a ton of books and she went right to sleep after crying for Pat for about 3 minutes. I am so grateful to have time with her. She always surprises me with her wit and intellect.

Enough bragging, you all know how I love my girl. I have bone pain in my right calf and my abdomen is very very tender. I keep wondering why. You know the wondering is not a good thing. If there is anything to worry about, I will know soon enough. And if there is something to worry about, Dr. B, Dumbledore and I will take care of it. Oh, and God.

More tomorrow as the fog continues to lift. The NYT crossword puzzles have been very hard for me today. Even Monday puzzles. I spent about 10 minutes looking at this clue - Knife: D_RK. Well, my father's name was Dirk, boy did I feel lame once I figured it out. I am pulling out my chemo brain pass for today...