Since last night I have been really suffering with some big pain in my shoulder, neck and jaw - all on the right side. I went to acupuncture today and Nancy worked really hard. She was able to give me some relief in the muscles, but there was one spot that she called the mystery spot. When Pat got home tonight she said, tada!, maybe it's bone pain from the Neulasta. I believe the mystery has been solved. How to deal with it is another story. And I have to first say that I am really really sorry for people who have chronic pain. I have had this for a day and a half, and I am already about to be in tears from not getting any relief.
I have been using the heating pad my righteous niece Libby suggested her mom send me. It's been good, but it's like I can't think of anything else except I want this to stop.
So I will tell you all what I did today and what is happening in other news. I got B to school, dropped the new (to us) car off at the dealer so they could fix the brakes. They gave us a loaner - a huge station wagon from the 80s. Bennett sobbed for the first five minutes she was in it. She wanted the red car, she wanted the black car, she did not want this air-freshener-smelling behemoth. Finally I got her to hear that it was not our car. She was relieved. Three and a half and she is already aware of so much. Today I got her a pair of super cut shoes at the consignment shop (more on that later), light blue Mary Janes with brown flowers. "Why did you buy me boy shoes?" Damn.
I went to the consignment shop and the woman there knew, I don't know how, that I have cancer. She was very stage hush-hush about it. How are you feeling? What's the treatment? I am sure you are going to beat this thing. Blah blah blah. Can't a person buy some used kid's clothes in peace?
That's pretty much it, I did the bills, picked B up from school, took her to Nick's Nest (a local hot dog stand that has been in Holyoke since the 30s), came home and now want to either cry or take a vicodin. Maybe I'll do both. Let's hope it will disappear overnight- the pain that is.
Whip out that light sword and rest it on the painful spot. I think deep breathing helps too. If I could take this pain away I would. I'll send you peaceful thoughts. Think of ocean waves rolling in and spreading on the sandy beach; you remember how the ocean looks in California? It's warm and rhythm takes you to another place. Elizabeth
ReplyDeleteI think I'd cry too if I thought an 80's station wagon was my new ride.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry about the pain.
We are with you.