A Sh*tload of Information

I am exhausted. Not the kind of exhausted I used to be coming back from chemo, but the kind of tired you get when a huge weight has been removed. We got a ton of info today. I loved the docs and the people who work with them. The place is efficient and they make it a priority to make everyone feel like a human being. Very cool. I am not going to mention that parking was $18 and my butt was sore from the trip.

There are no clinical trials open at this time for me. But there is one phase-three trial that I am going to be on the list for that starts in January. That is mere weeks away, so I am not worried. Dr. J-Mc told me to call when we get back from England and make sure I am on the list and all. She also making an appointment for me with the doc who is in charge of the phase-one trials. Those are the trials that use drugs that they have only ever used on animals or in test tubes. I am not so psyched about that, but you never know. I am truly trying to use my heart and mind to make decisions that honor quality if life. I feel so much better off chemo - happier and my body feels better.

Oh, I forgot to tell you all, my insurance company changed their minds! I am covered for three appointments - just long enough to change insurance companies.

Not all the news was good. The cancer is now in my uterus and my abdominal lymph nodes. So now it is in my bowels, liver, lungs, abdomen, lymph nodes and uterus. That is quite a list. I didn't get all freaked out because at this point it's sort of like, where is the cancer now? There are a lot places it is not, and that's is where I try keep my mind. Not my bones, not my brain, not my pancreas, bladder or kidneys. You get the idea.

I gave some blood - through my wrist. I have super crappy veins and they wouldn't use the port because it was inserted at a different institution. They took the blood because I volunteered to be part of a study for GI cancers. It will not affect my care, it's all for science. I thought it would be a nice thing to do and I know that my Dad, who died from cancer, never got to be in a study and know he wanted to. So I am trying to keep his spirit close to me.

So now it's just a waiting game. I won't know anything until January. That gives me so much freedom. I felt elated on the way home - like I was given a reprieve. It's not really true, because I still have some big freaking cancer, but at least I can have some fun while I feel good and am chemo free.

Thanks for the good vibes. They were well used.