No More 'Mo

At least for the time being. The Oxaliplatin stopped working and so I am off chemo until Dr B can find a clinical trial for me. That should be within the next couple of weeks and until then, I am free. That's what it feels like- that I am free from traveling to Worcester, free from feeling like crap for days on end, alas not free from cancer.

What happened is the obvious tumor in my belly (the one I can feel) got much smaller, while the tumors in my lungs stayed the same and the tumors in my liver grew considerably. Enough to let Dr. B know that the drugs were not effective. Who knew that cancer grows in each organ differently? I sure didn't. That is why I was so positive that it was working, because the tumor that I can feel is tiny (instead of the size of a golf ball-ish).

So we will work as hard as we can to get a clinical trial, and Dr B was uncharacteristically positive about my chances of succeeding in the trials. He also said that I am no where near dying, and it was nice to hear that from a professional. I still feel scared and liking bawling my head off and stamping my feet. I think I will - a little later.

We are going to England for the holidays thanks to Mary's (solicited) invitation and my mother's generosity. I am worried about the trip to St lucia in Feb. I hope that the trial doesn't get in the way. It's nice to worry about something other than cancer. I can't wait to see Nancy tomorrow to get a new perspective. A warrior perspective.