A Bone to Pick

I have a bone to pick with God. How can He give me such a good and sweet life, after so many years of struggling, then take it away? And what about Bennett? And what about Pat? And what about me? I don't want to die. That's it, plain and simple. I don't want to be in pain, I don't want to die and I don't want to put all the people who love me through this terrible thing. Alas, there is nothing to do until we meet with the folks at Dana Farber. And maybe, just maybe, they will have a clinical trial for me. I am praying with all my might that they will.

Today I didn't get out of my jammies. Not a particularly good sign. I hung out with B until fab Aunties Ruth and Theo took B to the Nutcracker. I was in charge of getting her dressed. She looked so cute in her pink, cream and black satin party dress. And she would NOT let me take her picture. She is in a no picture stage. So, you'll just have to take it from me that she looked dreamy. Theo made a madly good pie to have with tea after the performance and we all were merry. Even me. I got to knit while B was gone and be a couch potato. I also decided that I need to get moving a little bit - that I am tired because I don't exercise enough and because I am scared to death.

Tonight we let B put in her own bubbles and her bath was full to the brim with bubbles. She had a blast putting on beards and mustaches and hats. Even tasting the bubbles, she said they tasted like fuzz. Good thing? I don't know.

So, to recap, it's a sweet and wonderful life with lots of love and tenderness. And right now it is mixed with blazing fear. I'll keep you posted on how it goes.