What a day! I am feeling the chemo even more than I thought I would. I am so tired, to my very bones. Pat came home early from her class to pick up the pieces of me and take care of B. I had a chance to nap this evening and am looking forward to going back to bed.
I went to Worcester today to drop off the pump and somehow found the whole process to be completely depressing. The sunny day only made my mood worse - it just didn't match. It made me feel ungrateful and stupid for wallowing in my worries. When I get right down to it, I am fine. Well, except the cancer bit, but I am fine otherwise. I am tired, and that is to expected and won't last forever. Though sometimes it feels like it might.
My brother, Bill, and some of his family are arriving late tonight. So this weekend will be filled with Aunt Trish, Cousin Bianna and Uncle Bill. I will need to rest, and take it easy, but it will be fun to see them. It's been years- too many years, really. This will mean that I have seen all of my siblings in the past year. That is pretty amazing. And a gift. Too bad I can't really feel the meaning of it all - being stuck in the chemo hole for now.
Ruth, I hope the chemo hole fills back up fast this weekend. Have fun with your relatives, but make sure you rest when you need to. I am sure they will understand.
ReplyDeleteSandy
Hi Ruth - you can't feel grateful and happy just because you think your supposed to, so don't beat yourself up.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you've got your 2nd toilet sorted. Post some photos!
Say hello to everyone for me.
M