Butt-Kicked Thursday

This is what Pat calls the Thursday of chemo. It's just the right name. I feel whooped. I am tired, and head -achy and my heart is beating harder than usual. Nancy would say there is no way to know the future, as it is none of my business, but I am fairly certain I will sleep long and hard tonight and feel a lot better tomorrow.

Pat, how can I explain how great she is?, is taking B for an adventure tomorrow to the DAR Reservoir so that I can have most of the day to rest. I know they will have fun and I will feel better faster. My only job tomorrow is to go to the farm and pick up our veggies. That doesn't sound so hard.

I really believe this is how disability payments are supposed to work. The family gets financial relief so that everyone can be taken care of better. Pat says she feels more able to take care of me and herself, I feel better just having her around, even though I don't actually need her to be here. B is psyched that we are both around. I am so grateful for SSI.

I didn't post last night. I was too busy getting the bejeezus scared out of me while I watched the movie Zodiac - by myself. It was doubly scary because I grew up at the time it was happening in towns around where I lived. So the Zodiac Killer and the SLA play a lot into my childhood fears. Needless to say, it took me a long time to fall asleep last night. My sister, Mary, was the one who recommended the movie. When I gave her some guff for it today she told me that she never thought I would watch it alone.  It was kind of foolish.

So, Bennett fell asleep in my arms at 5, I am about to keel over, Pat is graciously cleaning up the dinner dishes. At this point in chemo I don't have much drive to eat, but if something ends up in front of me, I will eat it and enjoy it. Pat made pork lion and zucchini. It was delicious and by some miracle it just appeared before me and I gobbled it up. Lucky me.