Chemo Tomorrow, Again

Yep, it's that time again. Chemo tomorrow. And I feel like having a tantrum because I just do not want to go. I know it's saving my life, and I should be grateful and blah blah blah, but I can't stand that just as I am starting feel human again, I have to go to chemo. And then I will feel like shit again and sometimes I just feel like how long can I do this? Every two weeks for the rest of my life, is how long. Ahhhhhh. It just seems so unfair sometimes.  Really most of the time.

That's my rant. I had a pretty nice and full day. We dropped B off to school and went to Home Depot to get a new toilet. Very low-flow and nice. I am sure it will save us a small fortune in water bills. Then P and I came home and cleaned up for the cleaning lady. Pat worked on the bathroom and it's really coming along. I know getting the tub refinished and getting the new toilet is going to make me want to get a new sink. But we really can't go there now.

I cleaned, did the mending, bills, and all the other things I like to get done before chemo. Jessica reminded me today that when we were expecting Bennett, I gathered things like crazy. Supplies to cover us for months. I made sure we had haircuts and tons of dog food and when B finally came, we were pretty set for a long time. That's sort of what I do for chemo. That way I don't have to worry about anything, and Pat doesn't have to worry either. She can just take care of me and B.

So we also checked out and applied for the Holyoke Charter School. It's a pretty nice place with a warm feeling to it. They gave us a tour and answered all of our questions and I think it would be fine for B. A little more structured than she is used to, but I think that would be good for her at this point. I might be saying that because she is the queen of dawdling these days. It drives me crazy.

I am going to watch the Office and then head to bed. I want to be well rested for my day of torture tomorrow. Wow, I really need to work on my attitude...