Thank God for Another Day

I didn't post yesterday because I just don't have anything nice to say about that day. It was rough, there was  a lot of crying and moaning and other hard things. It made me realize that I need to take a pain pill as soon as I wake up. It's just a hard thing to take in. How did I go from being a person who didn't need pain killers, to a person who needs them most of the day? I guess I hit some sort of threshold. I have a very high pain tolerance, and that first day when I took the first Vicodin, I realize the amount of pain I was in and how it was effecting my quality of life. So now I take it all the time. That's just the way it's going to be and I have to be okay with that. Nancy said that I could be grateful that my pain is so easily managed. I like that idea. It's like when I complained that I had to get glasses and someone said I was lucky my sight was correctable. That is humbling.

So after such a rotten day yesterday, I woke up at 6 or so to go to the bathroom and took my pills. I went back to bed and Bennett woke up around 7. She wanted to play with and I Spy book, we we did - until 8:30. I just thought it was too much fun to interrupt and make her go to school. That was a very nice way to start the day. Then I took her to school, went grocery shopping, came home and admired the work Pat was doing on the new basement loft. I put the groceries away and then had lunch with Ruth. It was a big treat to be able to have one-on-one time with Ruth. I went to get B and took her to the yarn shop to get yarn for hats. Bennett is insisting that I make Jessica's lovely babies a hat to match her kitty hat. I am also to make a hat with a flower for Bennett to match the hats that Stella and Matilda have. The colors we chose are pink, light pink and purple. Big surprise.

Warning this paragraph may be Too Much Information for some people. So when I saw Dr B last time I asked him if we could figure out a way to stop the bleed from my uterus. He said it was complicated, that they would have to run tests to determine whether the bleeding was from the tumor, menopause or just regular menstruation starting up again. So he gave me a bunch of appointments for ultra sound, biopsy, GYN oncologist, etc. And then I realized I didn't want to do any of it. None of it was going to take the cancer away, it was so many appointments with new doctors and lots of tests, it just didn't seem worth it for a few spots of blood every day. I feel really good about that decision. It really goes along with my not wanting to medicalize much more of my life. I do, however, have n appointment with a Chinese herbalist on the 30th. I let you know how that goes.

So, you are now pretty much caught up. I will post pictures as soon as I get some from Bob and Jim or Jessica. We, stupidly, did not bring a camera to NY. Next time, I swear.