Beastly Pain

So the pain is here and I am trying everything I know to try to get it to go away. I have taken all the meds I can, done deep breathing, etc. And it's still here. It makes me realize that tomorrow I have to step it up to Oxycodone. I don't think I have a choice. The main tumor in my abdomen is getting so big that it feels like it's filling up my gut and pushing things around in ways that does not feel good.

Ahhhh, it's totally freaking me out. When I look down at my belly, I can see its profile from above. That is just not right. It might be freaking out a little bit because I found out that a friend of a friend who was diagnosed with ovarian cancer this summer, died. It it so weird to have people diagnosed and died within the time frame that I have been diagnosed and am still alive. I feel grateful and guilty at the same time.

Pat is washing the dishes - the dishwasher is on the fritz, Aunt Liz is over giving B a bath, Zeus is home after a 6 week vacation with our friend Marcia (they were on the Cape for most of it), and I am posting. My schedule is free tomorrow. I am going to spend it with Top Chef, knitting and snacks. That sounds like a slice of heaven to me.

I had this idea that maybe some of you had some questions you might like me to address. I can answer them in the blog (or privately, if you prefer). So email me, comment me or whatever to ask your question. Do no be shy and I will tell you the truth as I know it.