Sit, Sit, Sit!

Tee day had a rough start for me, the house felt just covered with junk dragged here and there by Bennett. I tripped on a bin full of Barbie stuff, Stepped on a Barbie high heal, accidentally kick a little chair that had about 100 little pieces of Barbies paraphernalia - spraying them all over the house. I just had to go back to bed. And I found myself just bawling and like Bennett says "I just can't stop crying." Bennett sat with me and wiped my nose and eyes and petted me. I just didn't know what to do. I didn't like falling apart in front of Bennett. Or Pat for that matter.

Mary (and her family) is moving to Fiji in August. I found out last night and I this is the first time that it is starkly illustrated that life goes on. And that I will probably not know how this adventure turns out. It's very sad for me. But, I remind myself, that inevitably someone I know will get married or pregnant, or something extraordinary and I won't know how those things will end up like either. So, like another moment when I feel like the clown has jumped out of the closet and hit me on the head with a skillet, I will figure out what to day by day. That's all that can be done.

Bennett update. Last night she asked me (again) if I was going to be the first one to die in the family. I said yes and when she asked why, I told her I had a sickness that was going to make me die first. She said if people keep dying then there won't be anyone left on the planet. I told her that people die every day and that people are born every day (It was more involved than that, but you get the idea). She said Oh, that's what happens, people die and then they are born again in another body. So, Bennett invents reincarnation. I told her that some people believed that and it was called reincarnation. Then she looked at me and said "oh mom, that is just like the sun setting and the moon coming up."

Brilliant.