So Many Things to Remember

I just spent about an hour going through the reams of paper the chemo nurse, Sue, gave me when I left last Tuesday. As you can imagine, I wasn't that interested in diving into the details of the horrors that chemo drugs can do to my body. That is to say, while those magical chemo drugs are valiantly destroying cancer cell after cancer cell, they are also causing lots of other cells to question their usual intentions.

White and red blood cells can get really out of whack. Infection can be a really big problem. Don't forget to rinse your mouth with salt water four times a day (luckily I am in the habit from getting my wisdom teeth out), don't let your hangnails crack, don't eat blue cheese.  What!?!  The list of foods to avoid is long and sad. No runny cheese, no lox or pickled herring, no tempeh or miso. Okay, tempeh I won't miss that much, but pickled herring, blue cheese, Camembert?

Another thing that no one talks about is when you lose you hair, you lose it all. You know what I mean?  That seems like it should be obvious, after all why would your genitals be any different than your eyebrows?

I also read a pamphlet that basically told me the best way to get fatigued is to not move. I spent the majority of this raining, chilly Sunday on the couch reading Harry P. I was tired! But after reading that, I got off my butt and walked the dog while I talked to my mom. Both made me feel so much better.

Riffing off yesterday's post, it does beg the question is it okay to spend the day on the couch? What if that's what I used to do once and awhile before I had cancer? I sometimes want to take a nap, is that a sign of something I should worry about, or just a nap? I'll keep you posted.

Tomorrow, Monday, I will take the computer in for resuscitation (if it costs less than $100), make pumpkin pie with Bennett (who wants desperately to make it, but has never had it. I hope she isn't disappointed.) and other normal and regular life things. The times when my mind wanders are still a challenge, but if I let my fear take over, I lose that lovely bit of my life. And I am not willing to give any more lovely, or unlovely bits up to fear. They are all mine.