Today I think was my day to I realize just how bizarre and unlikely what is happening to my life truly is. In the past three weeks everything has changed. I feel terrible physically and just realized that it's not temporary. This is it, this is what I chose when I didn't want any more treatment. It's pretty crappy and it makes me mad. Really furious. I have been swinging between exhausted and furious today. I spent most of the afternoon in bed because I knew I would not be able to be pleasant. I had a grumpy word for everything. I took myself out - I didn't want to grump all over Pat and Bennett.
So, needless to say I didn't get much done. I did get to talk to Ruth, Mary and my friend I have known the longest, Theresa. It was fun, even though I pooped out at the end. Bennett had fun with Aunties Julie and Liz and that is pretty much it.
I think I should log off - I am still pretty grumpy.
Ruth, I am thinking of you tonight. Hoping the nurses will have a plan to manage the pain more effectively. All my prayers and wishes that tomorrow (or today, depending upon when you read this) will be a better one.
ReplyDeleteLove, Sandy
Prayers and love, and what Sandy said.
ReplyDeleteIt was nice to hear your voice. :)
ReplyDeleteTC
It seems like a good thing to let yourself be mad and if you don't mind me saying - please don't spend too much time with it. You have so much more joy to experience. I would hate that you missed one second of it.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you and hoping for better days for you. It is monstrously unfair, and I wish it hadn't happened. You are the bravest person I know. Hope to see you sometime soon.
ReplyDelete-Beryl