Isn't that what every blog post should be called? Really, because this is what happened today.
We all slept in until 7:30 and I had to be to church at 8. I washed what is left of my hair and prayed that my ears wouldn't blow (they did) and that I wouldn't be late. Deanna hooked me up with two long-time St Paul goers. Kathy and Tim were the perfect hosts and introduced me to Pastor Barbara who was super nice. The service was lovely and quiet. I will try the 10am service next week, which is supposed to be quite lively. I have an appointment with Pastor B on Wednesday to talk about what it means to be part of a church, etc. I'll keep you posted. I really liked my experience at St Paul's and can understand why a person would want to be a part of it.
I got home and we were all so tired that we went back to bed. There was no actual sleeping because Bennett wasn't quite as tired as we were, but it was nice to cuddle and chat. Pat took Bennett to a dress up birthday party - Bennett was Fairy Dora. She couldn't decide between being a princess and Dora, and why should she have to? So she looked wicked cute in her blue and purple tutu, Dora shirt and purple backpack. She wore that all day- until it was time to trick-or-treat - then is was about 45 degrees. It's hard to see a costume under a winter coat and hat. We had to tell B is was not polite to walk down the street yelling "it's time to get candy" at the top of her lungs. She quickly got the hang of "trick or treat" and "thank you." She got a ton of candy from just six or seven houses, plenty to last a good long while.
I got in a nice nap and did a few things around the house. Made sure the kitty is still on the mend, and that's about it. I have to say that I am not that too happy about tomorrow, Monday. Though I am feeling good, I am worried about having B all day by myself. I am going to keep it a nice quiet day, which she needs more than anything. That means I will have to figure out how to occupy my mind while B gets a quiet day. Any ideas? I am going to look into getting an oncology social worker instead of a therapist. I am going to call UMASS to find out if they offer anything like that. I bet they do. I bet I could see that person the day I have chemo. Wouldn't that be perfect?
My thought is an oncology social worker, or someone like that would be better for me than a nice lady in a home office in Northampton. I've done that, and I need something a little grittier. I do have an appointment with just such a Noho lady not this week, but next. The first therapist who had opening and time and takes my insurance. We shall see. I don't have much hope because I really want someone who is in the world of cancer treatment. This is good to know and I will start my new quest tomorrow. I suppose one could say I didn't find a therapist for a reason...
Julie and I want a picture of Dora the Fairy Explorer screaming "it's time to get the candy" at the top of her lungs. What a monkey doodle! She is the cutest thing since sliced bread I do swear. I'm so glad that you are having good days--A true blessing. I'll see you Tuesday--much love, LIZ
ReplyDeleteHello Ruth, it's Barbara "Belef" here. I am so happy you are working through the ins and outs of feeling ways that were incomprehensible not so long ago. Your blog helps me in a special way--I feel like there is someone I really care about that is going through a similar process. On the other hand your problems are so much more than mine. my leukemia was caught early enough that i was still (barely) in the chronic stage. (just 2 weeks after you were diagnosed.) i am responding well to treatment, and although i have many other health issues all in all i am doing well. The only "chemo" i have is one pill a day. Plus following a nutrition and vitamin regimen and taking precautions with life in general of course. Side effects were/ are very much like yours, but my body has almost adjusted. I don't have to go through tough treatments like you. i am not losing my hair. And respecting that you Don't want to lose weight, I was/ am upset that if i have to be sick couldn't I at least have a drug that made me loose weight rather than bloat me up hugely?? not fair at all!
ReplyDeleteI am also fortunate that i care for my grandchildren instead of having to be worried about the toll my cancer takes on my own little ones like you do(I rather imagine). My husband is super-duper. He has been caring for me for years, and now even more so. It is he that I cry for more than myself. i am a burden, one that he carries well. I am so very blessed in so many ways. And that is what brings me to tears and frustration, but not as often as it brings comfort and picks me up when its even too hard to breath.
Know that you don"t have to be a strong warrior all the time. Know that you have an army with you in your struggle. Know that you are a welcome and inspiring light in the lives of all who know you. Know that you are loved.
Hugs, Barb
I second the request for a picture of Dora the Fairy Explorer! Lots of love!
ReplyDelete