This Was Not Good Bye

One of the traumatic things that happened, in the support group I went to, was a participant kept telling me that no matter what when I saw my sisters when they visited, it was going to be a kind of final good bye.  That each of my sisters was visiting in such a quick succession was not a show of support, but in his mind some sort of last farewell. No matter what I told him about how they all promised to come when I needed them, that it was about fun and we were going to play games and eat great food, it didn't make one bit of difference, he was not to be swayed. Of course he was projecting his giant load of crap onto me, but it really freaked me out.

I told this story to my sister, Joanne, today. She hugged me and said, "no way is this good bye." And I believe. In fact when she and her son left I was super sad to see them go, but with a sadness that comes of the true joy of loving someone and experiencing their absence. My niece too, but she will be back in a couple of weeks, when Mary comes to visit. Another sister who is not coming to say goodbye for ten days.

Bennett, of course, is bereft of her cousins leaving. Gentle and lovely Libby and always willing to go poop hunting Tim.  She was just crying for her cousins, literally. She knows a good thing when she sees it.

I am gearing up for chemo tomorrow. I feel pretty confident my white blood cells (WBC from now on) are better. I got a mosquito bite this morning and it actually turned red and swelled up for a time. And it itched. All good things. Trust me on this. Liz is going to pick me up at 6 am, which means she has to leave her house at some terrible time, which means she is a good good person, to get me to the lab at 7:30. See the doc at 8 and if all is well, and it better be, 8:30 in the chemo chair.

Keep those messages of love, light and prayer coming my way. I am going to need every ounce I can get for round two - ding! ding!