A cancer blog with recipes? Why yes, why not? Here is my favorite pickle recipe and it's so good you might want to double it. It's good for people who don't can, because you can just stop after the six days and eat them. Yum. Even though I can't eat them right now, these pickles do not last in this house. Come to think of it, Pat can't eat them and Bennett doesn't. Where do all of our TX Xmas pickles go?
TX XMAS Ruth Style.
Makes 4-5 pints
Takes about a week - mostly waiting
1/2 gallon whole dill pickles.
2.5 oz Tabasco (or to taste)
5 cloves garlic, chopped coarsely
1.25 lbs sugar
Drain pickles, slice them any shape you want and put back in their
jar. Add garlic, Tabasco and 1/3 of the sugar. Shake until the sugar
starts to dissolve. Over the course of the following 6 days, add a
little sugar and shake the jar every time you notice the sugar has
dissolved.
At this point you can go ahead and eat them, but I like to can them.
Get your jars and canning pot ready.
Drain the pickles and reserve brine, bring to a
boil. Remove garlic and pack pickles into pint jars that have been
prepared with two 1/4" slices of lemon and 2-3 cloves of garlic each.
Water bath can for 15 minutes. Wait a week before eating, if you can!
Other Stuff
What a day! Good and bad, just like any other day. Pat let me sleep in again, and this time it was totally necessary. I woke up exhausted and didn't feel better until I had a nap in the early afternoon. But I get ahead of myself. Woke up exhausted and pissed at myself for being so tired. And guilty. Tired, pissed and guilty. A nice combination for a Sunday morning. Pat got us all in the car for what felt to me like a hideously long hike, but was really just a 45 minutes stroll on a trail on Mt. Tom. My ears were blown out - like on an airplane. I felt like Darth Vader, without any power and cool clothes. So I was tired, pissed, guilty and couldn't really hear anything but my own breathing.
At the end of the hike, I looked at Pat and said "I am so weak." She took me home, I went to bed and woke up a new person. Bennett quietly woke me and I was so happy to see her. My ears were better, I wasn't weak or exhausted, pissed or guilty. I was just me again. Pat went to work on the baseboards for the bedroom (we are SO close to being done), and I played with B for the next couple of hours. It was a blast. I am so grateful to have such a life. To be able to have enough flexibility and understanding around me to be able to do what I needed to do to get back to my new normal. What a gift.
I have been asking myself why I feel so guilty for being tired. I am not sure why I thought I would go through this unscathed. Everyone talks about how brutal chemo is. Did I think it would be different for me? Frankly, yes. I thought the main inconvenience would be the time getting the treatments. I didn't realize, really understand, that I was going to feel a way I hate to feel - unable. Unable to get up right when I wake up, unable to clean the bathroom because I can't use the cleaners, unable to go where there are a lot of people because of the germs, unable to pay attention to the kid I waited my whole life to have because I can't hear anything but my own breath. And on and on.
But I am able. And I am not barfing and I do not have diarrhea and the ginger slices help the anti-nausea meds a lot. So I will take the week ahead of me one moment at a time. Try to be kinder to myself when I am feeling weak and tired. Remember that sometimes my idea of what to do in a day is too much - even on a good day.
I know exactly where the Texas Christmas pickles go! I love reading your blog and cannot wait to see you this weekend with Aunt Mary!
ReplyDeleteWhen you're tired, your body is telling you to rest. For some reason this family isn't very good at relaxing. However, now is the time to stuff the Protestant work ethic and get on with some serious snoozing!
ReplyDeleteTexas Christmas Pickles! I love Texas Christmas Pickles!
HI Ruth,
ReplyDeleteIt sounds from your Saturday entry like it's time to give yourself a break. You ARE responsible for your healing, but not completely. You are, in that your positive thoughts and wishes can help transform your body into a healed body. You re in that you give your body rest and time to heal. You're NOT completely responsible for that healing and, when you stop working so hard at being the warrior,you can let go of that feeling of responsibility, and your body (with the help of the chemo) will have more 'space' to get strong and well. I know you know this, but beating yourself up for not fighting strong all the time, just exhausts your spirit and doesn't help your body. Relish the down time, enjoy the light and air of September and give yourself permission to do so with enthusiasm.
many hugs,
Linda Kaye-Moses
Not sure what was up with the atmosphere or barometer yesterday, but Ruth, strangely enough my ears were blown out all day yesterday too...like I was on a plane waiting for the moment when they pop. I couldn't hear Bob talk because the vibration of my own tennis shoe on the pavement was louder in my head than anything outside of it. I feel trapped in my own head in those moments. So your post...wow, your litany of "unable"...was palpable. And I feel how much you're wrestling yourself into resting, like taking care of a child who refuses to take the nap you know she needs. You know what to do, you're a mom: stop wrestling and start soothing, quieting, treating the child gently so that see can slip off into the rest she needs to get better.
ReplyDeleteWell, Missy, we all are saying it is OK to rest, and you too I think. You know, I have always said to you that you work more than anyone I know and that you have high expectations. And if there was a time to give yourself a break, this is it. Use me as an example, I love to watch TV and NEVER clean the bathroom. There is nothing you have to do other than take care of yourself at this time, guiltless, and knowing that you have the support for anything that falls short.
ReplyDelete