Two Weeks From Today

Okay, from yesterday is my surgery. I have been thinking a lot about it. It's pretty much all that is on my mind, and getting Bennett's doggy had done - one ear to go.

I had a really good day today. I took Bennett to school, and because I am not immune compromised I get to take her upstairs to her classroom. It's great fun to take her all the way up- I have been missing it a lot. We have to take the elevator and Bennett has been asking a lot of question about my health in her three year old way. Why can't we take the stairs up to the classroom? Why do I have a little machine in my chest? Why don't you have any hair? Will the medicine I take make my hair fall out? Oh, the medicine is different. I tell her the machine helps the big medicine get into my body to help me. And the big medicine is healing my body, but making my hair fall out.

I don't want to scare her away from medicine - sometimes she gets a fever and she had to take a little tylenol. It's hard to know how much info to give. Mostly I try to remember to answer the question asked and not to get too elaborate. I am trying to think of creative ways to hang out with her while I am recovering. She will still be going to school, so that's good. I think we are just going to have to have quiet talks and read books and play Ipad together. Like now, only less jiggly. I think it's too soon to talk about the surgery with her, her concept of time is a three year old's. She asks every day if it's Christmas. It doesn't matter that we look at the calendar and show her how many more days must pass before she can get to the presents under the tree.

After B came home from school, we walked to the park to take pictures. She's been asking me to do that for a couple of days. I wasn't really paying great attention while I was taking pictures and they are all of the sun. Oh well. It was fun, but cold and we came home for B's first ever hot chocolate.

I once read that heaven lives on Earth in the in-between spaces. I feel like these times with Pat and Bennett are my heaven on Earth times between the anxiety. Here's to cultivating more heaven on Earth.