The Hard Poop

Yes, it's true. Last night I think I was in some sort of God induced calmness. Today, not as much. I haven't be suffering from the anxiety that I expect, but I have been a little out of sorts. Bennett is still a little sick and since she was out for so long yesterday, I thought it would be prudent to keep her indoors today. It was fun to just do puzzles, and I tried to teach her dominoes. She is so close to understanding taking turns and following the rules of the game. We played two successful hands then she wanted to build houses with the dominoes. Fine with me.

Another reason I might be out of sorts, I discovered the NYTimes crossword puzzle app for my Ipad. I never considered myself a crosswords puzzle doer. I am hooked. I have done about six puzzles since last night, and would have done more but the battery needed recharging. I will admit I have been choosing Monday puzzles- the easiest, but for me to complete a puzzle when I've never been able to finish even one in People magazine, it feels pretty good. And it keeps me from thinking about being cut open and death.

I have to say, also, that I have not had time to listen to my visualization tapes for two days. I think this is not good for me. I will listen tonight before bed. I will fall asleep to them, but that's okay, it still going into my brain.

We are looking to borrow a treadmill for Jan and Feb - to aid in my recovery. Anyone have one that is collecting dust that we can use?

I am signing off now, I just don't have it in me to get into how I am feeling. Resigned and a little crappy - need I say more?