Short Sunday

It was a quiet day around here. We had a nice visit from our very pregnant friend, Susan. She was glowing and it's nice to know there will be a new baby around soon. She made me a very handsome hat, see above. Boy, do I love babies. All this cancer stuff made me forget that. Pat and Liz wrangled an elliptical trainer into the house and we have a line on a treadmill. Pat insisted on tackling Walmart the Sunday before Christmas to get B a scooter. She is going to love it.

I mostly stayed on the couch. B is still getting over a cold and I wanted her to be a quiet as possible. You know that means lots of Ipad and a few rousing games of Hi Ho Cherri-o.

While on the couch, I mostly fretted and did more crossword puzzles and a little knitting. I am not quite right and I think it's because mortality is a bitch. I know that I can't just give my life over to fear, that if my life is going to be shorter than I'd expected, do I really want to sit around and worry about dying? And all the grief around that? No. But that seems to be what I am doing. I have just got to stop. I get moments of real clarity, of feeling connected to the world and life, but mostly I feel half shut down. And I know that is no way to live.

I have big plans for tomorrow. I am going to Trader Joe's then I will listen to my tapes and have a nap. I have not been grocery shopping for months. We are really trying to get ready for January. I got the sleeping stuff I needed and ordered two big bags of dog food. When will Holyoke get grocery delivery?I can't wait.

Next we are going to arrange the beds so there are plenty of places to sleep and agreed to heat the house at whatever temperature we need it to be - and not worry about the bill. My valiant sister Mary is coming to help for three weeks. I am so blessed to have such resources.

That reminds me, I went to church with Ruth this morning. It was good. St Paul's is such a sweet place, I heard someone say it was the little church that could. I believe that.

I am off for the night, I am going to try to work on the blue doggy hat that B has been asking for. I am pretty sure she is going to ask why it's not pink the moment she sees it. But that's okay, I think she will like the ears enough to live with the blue.