I have a Cold

Want a chemo doc to call you back in about a minute? Call and tell them you have a cold. I am now on Cipro antibiotics. The idea is the virus can set up an environment for a bacterial infection and since I have so few WBC, it can get scary. Why does every normal thing have to be so fraught?

Dr B's first question was, is your daughter sick? Well, of course, we all are. What was I supposed to do when I saw first Pat then B getting sick? Move? Leave the house? Where would I go and how terrible that would be. So Pat slept on the couch and we thought that would be enough - like last time. Oh, actually last time I slept in the back room. Must remember that for next time - because that time P&B got sick but I didn't. 

I am feeling a lot better today, mentally that is. I felt a sort of lifting this morning, I don't know what it was, but I will take it. I took B to school, walked Zeus and went and got gas. Came home paid the bills and make some calls, including to Dr. B. After picking up the meds, I went to bed. It seemed like the safest place to go. I don't want a bacterial infection in my lungs and my colds always go to my lungs. I watched a little TV on the computers, tried to nap but kept waking myself up with a cough, or more mortifying, a snort. 

I also gave up the idea that the CT scan will ever be scheduled. Three weeks ago I thought the scan was all set for Nov 29 with a follow up appointment on the 30th- to get all the good news and I am sure there is going to be some. The scan department does not yet have any record of my scan appointment, so I am going to give this one up to God and let the appointment be scheduled for when it will be. Then we can reschedule the follow up (and all the rides and childcare we've arranged, damn.).  Of course I want to have the scan and find out how effective all this chemo (and rest and prayers and sending of of the good light my way) has been. I also fear the words "it's not working." I have to say, and this is not Denial, I have some indication that the main tumor is smaller. If you must know what those indicators are I will just tell you it has to do with pooping, so I will not get into details. Folks with kids and dogs know how much the world revolves around poop and what it reveals. Not everyone wants to talk about it. Thus, I will stop.

Tomorrow the CL is coming. That is the cleaning lady. The gas company is coming to fix our heating stove, and I have reflexology in the morning. I will have to catch a nap in there and that will make a full day. According to Jim's comment, I am allowed to ask you all to tell me how much you love me. So I am going to be doing that periodically. Like now. I think that will help me feel more connected to you all. I have been feeling pretty isolated and want to feel more connected. So have at it. I love you too.