Yes, late night is 8pm. I am bushed. Do I start all of my posts this way? It seems like it. I returned my pump today and am glad to be free of it. As reassuring as the whooshing is it is heavy and cumbersome. So, I return it with hopes of getting it back in two weeks. Looks good, after all this was the first time I got to have chemo as scheduled. I almost couldn't believe.
And now I am tired is a weirdly wired way. All I want to do is sleep, but I am not sleepy. I think this is true fatigue- my mind is not where my body is. I don't really like it at all. I will do my best after having a terrible night's sleep with two sick people. Tonight I may sleep on the futon, to be away from the sickies and to get some sleep.
I am eating polenta with creamy tomato sauce. My stomach has been very calm lately which gives me a lot of hope. I continue my very limited diet which I am sure helps, but I also think the chemo is starting to work on the big tumor in my colon. I don't want to get ahead of myself, but I am feeling hopeful. How bad could that be?
Honestly, I haven't been all that hopeful lately. Mostly tired and grumpy about the things I can't do. But a friend reminded me that I can spend this time resenting what I can't do, or imagining the joy of doing the things I am missing next year. That seems like a tall order today, but I can work on it.
Hey Ruth, I love your blog. Thanks for sharing everything with us. I look forward to "catching up with you" every evening after I get home from work. lots of love, Joanne
ReplyDeleteHi Ruth - of course you should be feeling hopeful! you are doing such hard work to make yourself well - and hope is a huge part of it. Oh, and polenta with creamy tomato sauce? thanks for the dinner idea! XXOOO.Nancy
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