3 More Days + Chemo Tomorrow

How can it be that I have to wait for test results and have chemo at the same time? It seems like the meanest combination of things. My friend Kathy sent this article about how hard it is to wait for test results and it is true. I am not sure that I agree that it is better to know a hard diagnosis than to wait, but I know both are super hard. That's putting it mildly, really it all totally bites.

I had an incredibly anxious morning and it was especially difficult because I could almost call yesterday a serene day. The contrast made today's anxiety even harder. I had acupuncture which was again sort of mysterious. I asked a lot of questions this time. I thought she would put the needles in exactly the same places as last time, but no. This time the she did a organ detox which involved a bunch of needles up and down either side of my spine, one in my foot, and one on the side of my neck. It was really interesting and relaxing. Those needles stayed in for 15 minutes and then she did some acupuncture where she just put the needles in and out - in my knees, shins and the tops of my feet. I don't know if all of this detail is interesting, but since acupuncture is so new and mysterious to me, I want to tell about it. It's not like reflexology or Reiki which are so immediate and hands on. This is almost more of a leap of faith for me. I would have thought it would be the opposite - another mystery, another leap of faith.

I have chemo tomorrow. I am really praying for good WBC counts so that we can keep going. I have felt pretty good to very good for the past two weeks. Of course lots of naps help and Pat has been really concentrating on making sure I eat and have lots of tea. It really makes a difference because I forget to eat and when she hands me a bowl of warm pumpkin custard with cream on it, I just eat it and it even tastes good. I hardly ever think of opening the refrigerator, it just doesn't cross my mind. Jaw dropping, I know.

Pat and Bennett are making cookie dough right now. I can count on hot almond cookies later. I'll give you an update on my weight tomorrow. I have been trying really hard to maintain and even gain weight. Last time I was at the doc, I had gained four pounds. I would like to have that be true again. I am not feeling quite as gaunt as I was. That is a good thing.

Okay everyone one, it's that time again. Light and prayers for a good chemo please. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, I couldn't have made this far without your prayers, help and light. You all are my light.