It's Sunday night and that probably seems like no big deal. For me it's a hard time. Tomorrow Pat goes to work and I have the whole day with Bennett. What a joy to be with her - just the two of us, that's true. The only thing is that eight hours with a three year old doesn't take up a lot of mental space. So my mind wanders, wanders to places I don't want to go.
One might say, stay in the moment, it's still Sunday. One might also say shut the hell up, this is about as scary as it gets.
I have a nice long list of things to do and hope that I have the energy and the gumption to do them. We are trying to get the second bedroom done before the end of the week - that mean finishing the walls, trim, painting and getting the floor installed. And I had to send an email to my most favorite electrician to tell him I have cancer and need him to make the power live this week. This is all so I can have a place to go if my three different anti-nausea meds and three different anti-diarrhealmeds don't work.
Who knew? Who knew that clearing out the medicine cabinet for actual medications would need to happen? Where are we going to keep the Q-tips?
I had this idea that I would want to write all the gory details about the procedures I had (note: first post), but now I don't want to. If you want to know what something is like, ask and I will write about it.
I will say that going to the Mystic Aquarium yesterday was a blast. I felt old old old because I am not my robust self, but seeing those seals really reminded me of the sheer power of nature and fun.
I will end this post on a good note. The PET scan did not reveal anything that we didn't know about. This is very very good news. I was super afraid the cancer was also in my lungs - and it's NOT! So a super big YAY and thank you God for that one. And for everything. I can feel like light a little better now. Thanks.
Hi, Ruth -- I just want to do a little dance again over your PET scan results. And...do you want to have lunch together tomorrow? (See, through this blog I see your secret desires.?.?.?.) Well, I'll give a call in the am to see what suits. Sweet dreams to you and Pat and Bennett.
ReplyDeleteHi Ruth-- so HAPPY and relieved to hear about those PET scan results. That is VERY good news. Sending all good thoughts, prayers, wishes, everything I can muster for your first day of chemo tomorrow. and we look forward to seeing you later this week, if not sooner.
ReplyDeleteRuth - you're surrounded by an amazing group of friends. You are really blessed. xx
ReplyDeleteGory details? Sure whatever or not. But I'm loving the ones you are sharing: the "who knews," and the "one might says," and the weaknesses during eight hours with a three year old and the power of a Saturday with the seals.
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