How can it be that after all this craziness, today felt like the most normal day in the world? Maybe it was walking Zeus in the morning, running into one of my favorite neighbors and having a long talk. She hadn't heard, so I had to come out to her about cancer. She asked all the right questions, and offered all the right help. There are some rare people in my sphere.
Lucky me.
I organized our photos onto Snapfish, ordered bunches, and broke the laptop. It might be totally dead. As many of you know, it was a piece of crap anyway. We had to balance it on Bennett's Candyland game so it wouldn't burn our legs or table. I made a million calls that I've neglected - Zeus's check up, vaccines for Bennett. I cleaned the kitchen for the first time in weeks (Pat has been doing a stellar job all these weeks) and talked to lots of great people on the phone.
Did you know that while I am on chemo, Bennett can only get dead vaccines? I didn't either. And that everyone who comes over must wash their hands. And that I can't be around sick people? How is that going to be in the Fall when Bennett starts a new school with all those germy kids? Yikes.
The only not perfectly normal thing is the bag around my neck that holds a pump that pushed 5FU at regular intervals into my chest port. It doesn't hurt, I feel totally fine, even better. Pat's theory is now we know. Now we know what chemo is like, how I responded to the initial doses of drugs, what the facility is like, that I am not going to go home and fall into bed for a week (yet, I will if I need to). I actually love this chemo.
I tried like mad to get the 140 grams of protein the nutritionist recommended. I hope I can poop tomorrow - that's a lot of protein. And I have to drink 10 glasses of water a day - done with no problem.
I got to pick up Bennett from school today. We came home and had some serious cuddling. She has taken to stroking the part of the pump that goes into my chest. I think of that as her way of sending love into me to help me heal. She is so earnest and intuitive. Lucky, lucky me.
We also made cookies. Cookies? Almond flour, agave-sweetened cookies that Pat thinks are the biggest treat in the Universe. I think Bennett felt like we had a pretty normal day too.
Cookies, catching up on phone calls and cleaning the kitchen - sounds like a good way to get your body & soul to heal. Normal is the most wonderful thing, but most of us don't know that.
ReplyDeleteAlex told me (while examining a small bit of tofu that I had snuck into last night's stir fry) that for every 100g of tofu you eat, you live for an extra 3 days. I suspect that he made that up, but it might be true.
Hi Ruth,
ReplyDeleteGot the scoop from L and just wanted to echo that if there's anything we can do once we're back from Maine, please let us know- anything from dog-walking, to babysitting, cooking, laundry, shopping, you name it.
big hugs- D.