It's Me

Hello everyone, it's Ruth here. It's early in the morning, before dawn, but lots of activity is happening around me. The docs were just here for their daily exam. This time they thumped on my abdomen, that was pretty bold considering.

I am pretty tired and have a headache which is a common side effect of the pain medication. Ironic.

I am not sure what to write about. Here are some things that are on my mind, first and foremost is how to stay in the moment. The pain keeps me there pretty well. I am not in tons of pain, because I have a button that I push when I need relief. They call it a PCA, I am not sure what that stands for - pain control analgesia, I just asked. It has dilauid in it. The epidural catheder stopped working the night before last- that had fentinil and bibuvicaine in it. Dr. Whalen said that epidural catheters are brilliant when they work, but when they fail it's like having no pain meeds at all. Yep, that's what it was like. I kept asking myself if this is what agony is. It was terrible, I'll just leave it at that. So I still have the epidural catheter, but just with bibuvicaine. BTW don't trust my spelling of the meeds...

Since writing the above, I have taken a walk gotten the epidural catheter out and am waiting for them to take the other catheter out. I wonder if I remember how to pee by myself.